If you’re good at reading minds or good at reading between the lines, you’ll get this. I’ll get what I had before back, no matter what it takes. I know it’s possible, I can sense it. Not only that but I feel it on the inside. I just know.
Now that I’ve confused the great majority of the world, school officially starts tomorrow. I have to select my courses and all. I’m working towards a Bachelors Degree. I don’t think 4 years is such a long time. This post was in my drafts, I figured I would post it! Either way, I have some pictures. They’re small because I didn’t want to link them. It’s too much work. I’m listening to the Moldy Peaches. They’re the ones who did that song from the movie Juno. I didn’t even see the movie… I used to hear the song when I was working…
So, I’m sure you’re probably thinking I’m crazy but I’m not. I’m bored, that’s all. I seem to always be bored. It’s by my own choice. In order to get my life on track I’ve got to disassociate myself from others. It’s probably somewhat unhealthy but I have an unhealthy way of blowing everything off when I’m always surrounded by others. What’s more important to me? Friends or Career? I’ll have to go with Career for $1000, Alex! As soon as I’m on track, I’ll start to be more sociable. I’m holding out until Florida! I have no desire to meet anyone or associate with anyone here in Texas. Well, except the 2 guys who I usually chill with on a not so regular basis. They don’t constantly hassle me to do for them. I would do something for them!
Today was a decent day. I was able to talk to someone I wasn’t able to for so long. I don’t know where any of it will go, but either way it makes me happy. He was supposed to call me back at some point in time but never did. It doesn’t bother me, but there’s a lot to say. We’ve been great friends since early childhood. A lot has happened to the both of us in the last 4 years and it would be nice to catch up. There will be time to do so, he’s a busy guy now. I’m still not sure what to think though… I don’t necessarily want to be in a relationship with him, I just want the friendship we had for so long. Which, we’ve had even after we stopped dating. It happens like that, great friends become lovers then realize they’re better off as friends. This is our case at least. We still did everything together and were still better than brothers. The occasional hanky panky was still there. Hah! It was equally as nice to talk to his mother, Reese. She’s a great woman. I have so many memories as a kid where it was Sean, Reese, his mothers friend and I riding to the beach. His mom was always smoking a joint. We were always going to Cocoa or Daytona. Most of the time we were on a very secluded part of the beach. I think they always knew we were gay because they always tanned topless! So many fond memories that I could go on and on about but I’m not sure anyone is that interested.
I can’t stop smiling right now though. His Dad always took us to see wrestling matches and as we got older to concerts. There was also a story of me peeing on his mother when I was a baby and she was watching us for my mother and her ex-husband. Yes, we go back that far… This has made my journey to Florida that much more important. I’ve found several old friends that because of me, we have lost contact. I don’t guess I should blame it all on me. Most of the girls I know married the guys I know and now they have kids. I know how hard it must be to be a mother and try and stay in contact with someone who has moved so much in the last 4 years. That person is me, by the way! I’m very happy, I can’t say it enough.
We may be leaving for Florida sooner than expected. I talked to my grandparents and they’re just needing physical help. My grandmother has been disabled my entire life and she’s always called me, “Legs” because I’ve always been her legs. She was born breached and her hips never quite developed along with her knee caps. Although, she has artificial hips and knee caps, they still don’t work like the normal, physically able persons. Her knees don’t bend whatsoever and her hips only give her limited mobility. My grandfather has had some medical problems that have affected his mobility greatly. He went from a hard working, physically fit man in the construction business to doing what he can and usually regretting it later. I’m just glad they don’t have to work anymore. They’re nicely set and I’m happy… Although, they do bring up “problems” with money. I think they’re more worried about leaving the family with money. My only concern is their well being. I know for a fact they will not worry and nor will my mother and I. We’re the only two in the will. They’ve always made sure we have whatever we want or need. I’m fortunate, I really am.
I think I’ve said enough for the time being. Ciao!
I just got on Myspace and my first boyfriend/best friend in the entire world messaged me. It has been SO difficult to get back in contact since the last we spoke his parents were going through a divorce and I had my own family issues. Four years of persistent searching has payed off! His mother got on the phone and told me how many thousands of times she thought about me and wondered how I was. I have done the same. I love his entire family and they’ve always made me feel like I was family. I remember when I was 14-15 his mother used to always tell me if I wanted to come back to Florida I could live with them and go to school. This was back when I lived here in Texas before. He used to beg me to come back all the time. I am such a happy camper today. I can’t believe what I just woke up to. Now, he’s the Shipping Manager at FedEx.
I can’t wait to see them. I couldn’t have asked for a better day. This has quite possibly brightened my entire month up plus it has given me more to look forward to.
