I ended up in bed earlier than ever last night. That still only ended up being 5am or so. It could have been a little earlier. I don’t know why my family calls me in the early morning. I live a different schedule than they do. I don’t call them at 4 in the morning so why do they call me at 10 in the morning? It’s annoying… It makes me so mad sometimes but I get over it shortly thereafter. I shouldn’t forget that God has saved me from the gays! Thank you, Jesus!!!
I think my grandparents are anticipating my arrival. I keep telling them new things about the progression of my education and they become so happy. I guess because no one else in the family bothered to aspire to go to college. Well, I shouldn’t say that. Things happen in life for a reason, I’m not going to say they didn’t want to go. My family isn’t perfect but when it comes down to it, I wouldn’t change them for anything. I’ve never wanted for anything. I never wanted much, but what I wanted I got. More than anything, I just wanted the attention of my family.
There’s a pair of 2″ eyelets on eBay that I want. They’re cheap and they seem like a decent pair as far as the picture shows. I think the people are trustworthy enough to not rip you off. They have absolute perfect feedback. I’ve personally never had issues with eBay but I know people who have. I guess it all depends on who you choose to buy from. You should atleast check the feedback of the seller. Either way, here are a couple of pictures. I’ve had them on my camera for a couple days.
1. Take 2g of ground P. Harmala (no preparation needed) orally.
2. Grind 20g M. hostilis in a coffee grinder to a fine, purplish powder.
3. Create mixture of 30-40% RealLemon(tm) and water. Stir in M. Hostilis and bring to a simmer for 15 minutes. Stir frequently.
4. Filter purple liquid through colander or mesh strainer.
5. Add remaining plant matter to a new lemon juice & water mix and stir for another 15 minutes.
6. Take remaining 1g P. Harmala.
7. Drain off liquid into cup (should fill it up about halfway) and drink quickly.
8. Wait 15-20 minutes. Retch.
9. Retch some more.
10. Try to regain your composure and balance after dry-heaving.
11. Lie back and listen to some didjeridu music.
12. Begin to think you’re dying, being devoured to the clean-picked bone by a school of rainbow piranhas, submerged in the Hell-realms suffering brutal tortures and repeated dismemberment at the teeth and claws of the blood-dripping minions of Lord Yama and various ferocious Mezoamerican deities like Tezcatlipoca, simultaneously.
13. Experience a complete and utter ontological meltdown at the face of imminent death. Recognise if the ‘huasca kills you now you’ll be caught in one of the Hell-bardos for a minor eternity due to your accumulated bad karma. Keep repeating your name to remind yourself that you have a body. Shower repeatedly to wash away the overwhelming forces of evil fighting over your soul, in between rounds of projectile diarrohea. Marvel at just how full of shit you are.
14. Panic, but try to remind yourself that time is your ally, even though each moment seems like an eternity of suffering. Remember that “this too shall pass.” Believe this with the greatest skepticism.
15. Continue this way for several hours, wondering all along if you’ll actually be able to come out of the Hell-worlds intact.
16. Wake up the following morning, swearing off psychedelics for at least a very long while, still fearful of inadvertently re-invoking this terrifying state of consciousness.
17. Go to bed the following night and re-experience this realm of consciousness during the hypnagogic state and nearly die of fright that you’ll wind up in an ontological cul-de-sac someplace, dribbling down your chin until your time is up.
18. Eat LOTS of red meat, drink alcohol, lots of Tamasic foods. Try to get grounded. The quotidian banality of three dimensions can be a sane human’s best friend.
19. Finally, several weeks later, look back on the experience without feeling a lingering sense of terror.
20. Begin to regain some perspective. Consider trying ‘la purga’ again under the supervision of a very experienced shaman able to help those less experienced to finally conquer these treacherous realms (as must ultimately be done). One must go into the breach again to be fully cured.
21. Maintain a VERY HEALTHY respect for the ‘Vine of the Soul’, recognising that it can kill, regardless of what they say about tryptamine neurotoxicity. The tryptamines can’t kill you; the heart-stoppage from unmitigated terror can, though.
